it's maile.

Well, much like your first time, the first time posting in a virgin blog is awkward and horrible and once you're done you feel all accomplished and shit, but in reality, you're not even that cool and someone has already done it 10 times better than you could ever hope to do it. Unless you're a true Casanova like me. A..blog writing casanova.

Nonetheless, I'm not sure what direction I want to take this blog. Part of me wants to be crass yet amusing and curse like a sailor and confuse people that stumble onto this blog because I tend not to act like this in person. The other wants to be vague and charming and talk about dandelions and sweet peas and things of that ilk. But what do I really want out of this? What do I want out of life?

It's kind of weird, I'm actually writing to no one at the moment (though I am aware I am fully acting like I am writing to an audience). I haven't told anyone about this..I even started a different blog...Or..well. Re-started a blog I intended for a certain purpose, only to be forgotten and left unused..For which I am now RE-Restarting and using for an entirely different purpose. It's a complicated business, this blogging.

I almost deleted my twitter today because I feel consistently intimidated by all the people who understand and feel like their lives are worth updating about. I don't feel like that. My twitter is riddled with comments about food, random vegetables, and insults to Yen. No one wants to read that. I don't even want to read that. But then at the last second I didn't delete it. You know why? Because I linked to it on my website and I'd have to redo a whole bunch of crap that I don't want to deal with. I can't quite tell you why I felt it necessary that potential clients should have access to my twitter. I guess it's because I'm an open book. And a staunchly professional human being capable of making intelligent business-relations decisions...or..I'm lazy.